of late thankfully, i've learnt to listen rather than contribute and talk crap... ( to be fair, most of those times it's because i've been too stoned and or out of depth to be of any substantial contribution ) but anyways, that's not the point.
lots of things have been worrying me...
are we, as a collective, getting too smart for our own good? to the point where we use what feeble knowledge and what little credentials we have to support our version of faith or lack of it.
are we in the spirit of self defense quoting the words of god in vain? do we justify our lack of muslimness by attacking the intention of those who reveal our flaws to us?
in times like the one we are living in, are we spouting platitudes like " i used to pray 5 times a day", "i've read the quran 5 times over", "i used to top my class in madrasah", " my parents have gone for haj a dozen times" to justify our lifestyle choices that are so evidently lacking in spirituality...
if we feel that our lifestyle and our lack of muslimness is under attack, then shouldn't we take a step back and muhasabah diri and see where we can improve as opposed to exposing the flaws of our attackers?
after all if we believe, if we truly believe that our religion is between ourselves and god then why are we employing the same tactics that our attackers use?
i haven't prayed for a while and worse still i have been lying about praying and sometimes i wonder maybe if that's the reason why i have become this mean spirited, intellectually pompous, self justificating creature who surrounds herself with like minded people so we can spend hours talking, contributing nothing to everything, so we can feel better about our pathetic selves.
if we like bags, we buy them. if we like science, we read about it. if we like technology we buy gadgets and read to keep ourselves updated. if we claim we are muslims, then shouldn't we practice it.
i have had so many stupid conversations about praying, ppl who pray, ppl who don't, ppl who ask you to pray and ppl who look down on you if you don't.
but seriously shida, if you can't even spare half an hour a day to pray and commune with God and take a break from your life and meditate about what kind of person you've become and your actions, then really...
what kind of muslim are you?
