abandonment issues.

i don't think "they" really thought it through when "they" came up with the phrase "wild with abandon". does being abandoned drives you to be wild or do you get abandoned because you're wild.

i think when you get abandoned, the stark stillness and the loneliness and aloneless of it all claws at your heart and rends it apart. and your desperate frantic attempt to stop the pain, random and erratic in "their" eyes, gets mistaken for wild.

may he rest in peace, that little grey furball.

zouked out

i finally did it!!!! i finally danced from twilight to sunrise. I AM THE ORIGINAL ROCK STAR! woot woot! and pippi IS da smooth operator. he was truly wickid wickid wickid and feet, they just won't stop. or maybe my three hour power nap did me more good than i realised.

i dun need YOU to tell me who i am and what i'm like. i'm having way too much fun getting to know me.

i don't do hatemails.

don't worry lil boy, i'm not going to bombard your inbox with a list of why you are a first class arse. some experiences should just be lived and not written.

besides it's a letter i'm better off writing to myself than to you. afterall you know why you're an arse, you live with yourself. i on the other hand need the constant reminder cause sometimes when the sun is shining just so, i slip and i forget how bad it got when it was baaad. and i let myself believe that life can be a bed of roses, true love does conquer all and fairy tales do live happily ever after.

ape jer!