what does it mean when someone tells you you have the loyalty of a hyena in a feeding frenzy?

what goes around comes around because...


GOD IS FAIR

white.black.white.black.white.black.

i like yellow...

submarine, butter gravy, sunflowers, chrysanthemum tea, mashed potatoes, bananas, emoticons, egg yolks, durians, my aldo sneakers, my new dress... hey, even ribbon.

i've paid my dues to society. yet another philanthropic community project by yours truly. oh laugh friends, laugh... i remembered not too long ago when your faces were green at the sight of my lats. charity does have its benefit you know. which reminds me, must ring changers up to see if they're accepting volunteers. KHAKHAKHAKHAKHA...

tsk! ...she falls, she gets up, she falls again, she never learn...

angels flying too close to the ground

thank you for the season out of sun
a lunar's fill of frivolity and fun
thank you for pulling the plug
i see now the dust b'neath the rug


and she shall take flight again...

tating siol....

i swear to god some people have the maturity level of a freaking zygote and the balls the size of a micro organism.

look, to be fair, i've never asked for what you were not willing to offer. i'm not one to go looking and grovelling and begging for what you cannot or will not give. i only partake in what is part of our bargain. and all i ask is for you to hold up your end of it and treat me with the respect i gave you though you bloody don't deserve it. the difference between us is i, for one, had the good luck of being raised by parents who saw the sense in bringing me up with manners and ethics.

it's really damn stupid lah. didn't have to get ugly and awkward. we could have ended this episode with a friendly handshake and a hug and gone on with our separate lives. if u had been balls enough to pick up your freaking phone and explain what "complicated" situation you've managed to land your sorry selves in, i can assure you i have the intellectual capacity and compassion to emphatise with you and cut you some slack and be cool with it. but you monkeys had to be some gutless pathetic losers and dodge and squirm and come up with lame-ass excuses for your inability to act in a remotely human and humane manner. the worse thing is that you actually for a second believe that i'm buying your bullshit bollocks?

eh mat, lu ingat gua beranak smalam kaper? JANGAN KENTAL AH.

i seriously have no time for this drama mama shit. for what's it's worth, it was fun when it was fun but excuse me for bailing out when you try to make something out of nothing. my life has too much going for it for me to waste my time and indulge you.

thanks though. it's been an experience.

goodbye godot!

i think it's about time i try. and be good or suck real bad. but try anyways.

i've had enough of living my life going "oh i could have if i wanted to but i just could't be bothered.."

let's make something out of it. be somebody. this neither here nor there thumb twiddling vaccillating business is driving me bonkers.....

epiphany

i know now how it feels. happy.

it's when your whole body feels all tingly. cliche i know but it's true. and in your head you see it over and over and over again. that one moment when it all crystallises and you truly feel.

for an emotional retard it is better than anything. it makes it worth everything. and more. and even these words don't do justice to it. and you try to explain it. encapsulate it in gestures. in your smile but nothing quite describe this that bubbles in you and spills over and keeps going and going and going. and i will keep it and remember it and savor it and relish it and let it roll over my tongue my hand my every nerve and visit and revisit it.

today i met my angel. and she is warm and hot and angry and loving and there and sets me free and watch me fly and let me fall so i learn to pick myself up and nurse my own wounds. she made me feel hurt so i can feel joy.

she is all of them and all we went through in a small black room. she is my spine and my gut and all the times i tried to justify to him why i'm here and not there where he wants me to be. she makes all the 'i don't know's mean something more than what i think they mean.

i wish you can be here where i'm at. soaring above the skies and falling to the ground. finally the mind can take a rest because the heart knows where it's meant to be and how to get there...