MAK ENGKAU...

yo momma's so fat
if you wanna see her neck, she got to lean back till her head touches her big ass.

yo momma's so fat,
when she farts, it registers 6.7 on the Richter scale

yo momma's so anal,
when she farts, it sounds like Minnie Mouse.

yo momma's so cheap,
she makes y'all pay cover charge at family reunions.

yo momma's so stupid,
they let her park at the "Handicap" lot.

yo momma's so fat,
the firemen rushed to save the grand piano instead of her when your house caught fire last year.

yo momma's SO fat,
the fire is still burning!

OI! pasal mak jangan main eh! (read: OI! why you gotta bring my momma into this?)

ain't got nothing against yo momma, just letting off steam that's all. peace y'all!

so where do we go from here, smartypants?

you don't really realise how much impact that ONE decision you make can affect the rest of your life. so when i said bye to my less-than-perfect, peanuts-for-pay job, i was actually saying goodbye to the opportunity of ever stepping foot onto the hallowed 30th storey office of world.spoilt.geezer. and it doesn't matter what step-granpop from hell said at my farewell party or how much court jester and the mat hatter would love to have me in their circus act. if the tight-arsed ringmaster has a vendetta against the prodigal daughter then no way in hell could she return. which i think royally sucks. but i guess that's the way the game is played.

so what do i do now? where do i go? how do i pump up my already pathetic and dwindling bank account with much needed funds? well, you know, i'd like to think that i am not without resources and contacts but outside of the farcical world of dimpled balls and flimsy shafts what else have i got and who else do i know.

well, i guess maybe it's time to really step outside into the big bad world and see what it has to offer. this kampong girl has to really step it up and find out if her pearl lies in another oyster.

wooosha............

*deep breaths now, deep breaths.......*

humpty-dumpty

how do you put back together a life that you yourself have systematically and meticulously taken apart and torn asunder?

she's gone awry...
she's gone a while...

call me so there's light...

a fleeting flashback of yesternight
came back as if to haunt
or perhaps, taunt.

heart jackhammering furiously
as if in a mad dash
already late to keep a date with death
or a dance with danger

desire often overcomes fear
fear of the unknown so easily choked by the desire for the sinful


careless to ricocheting repercussions
callous to the loose cannons of consequence
triple axling with abandon
cosy in the comfort that
the conscience left convalescing
will eventually be revived and reinstated

and lines will once again be towed
lives lived in order
socks pulled up
acts cleaned up

oh, round and round go the wheels of my bicycle
till there's no more air left in its tyres
squeezed dry,
running on empty

and there it lies now
decrepit and dejected
its metals rusty, rotting away
its rubbers cracked and crushed,
rejection oozing from every open pore

like a cold sore.

i guess all that hot air took its toll on my bicycle
and all the smoke in the world couldn't cloud my saucer eyes

broken
a sliver of a ghost
my bicycle

so
did it come to haunt,
or perhaps taunt?

it's time...