it's very sad you know...
Once upon a time when our moms had something unpleasant to say about a certain someone, they used to say it hush-hush. They used to be subtle or else if they cudn’t find a nice way to air their displeasure they just shared it with likeminded people and went about their ways. They don’t mean no harm or malice, they just wanted to ease the heaviness in their hearts. That’s why they
mengumpat. For lack of a better word, somehow that got translated into the English language into the word “bitch”. And that nasty word somehow took a life of its own and grew with such ferocity that it became not only a verb but an adjective, an adverb, a noun and even a pronoun.
And now we’ve got these young, “progressive”, “forward-thinking” fellow females who proudly declare, “if I’ve got something to bitch about, I’m not going to do it behind someone’s back, I’m going to say it to her face! Hah!” as if expecting a pat on the back or a Singa Award for honesty. They, obviously, fail to realize that there are several verbs in Malay for such an action and it’s called
menghina, memburuk-burukkan, menjatuhkan maruah, mengaibkan or
memalukan. And such a behavior is not only rude but it’s also downright malicious. It breeds contempt, revenge and ill-will. It is not constructive and it reflects badly on your character and upbringing.
Sometimes it is easy to forget that we are
orang melayu. Kita ni
beradab dan bertatasusila. That while we might be well-travelled and socially assimilated into the urban global community, there should still be some values that we hold dear. That some adages like “
kalau cakap tu, biar beralas” shouldn’t be cast aside like we did our
Kamus Dewan after our ‘O’level Malay.
After all, I’m sure we wouldn’t want people to say, "
Kesian Cik (*insert parent’s name*),
hantar anak belajar tinggi-tinggi/luar negeri buang duit aje… Budak tu cakap asal lepas aje, BIADAP. Macam orang tak beradat…"
Mulut tempayan boleh kita tutup, mulut orang…?EPILOGUE the.evil.multiply.-i.ed. Jun 26, '07 3:35 AM
the boss was away for a couple of days last week and boredom and the absence of francophile and muhd.playwright drove me to yet another of my 'social experiments'. it was too tempting and i had way too much time on my hands.
the internet and the online diary phenomenon has always been a fascination of mine. a diary, by its very definition is a written record of an individual's personal activities, thoughts and emotions and more often than not, it's almost always private and secret. how then do we explain these "online diaries” which pretty much means everyone and anyone with an internet connection could at any given time gain access to these very personal possessions of yours, and even comment and give their two cents' worth on them.
the way i see it, it must be a rather tiring and draining exercise to continually defend your personal stand and opinion in the face of rebuttals and alternative viewpoints. at some point don't you ask yourself, why do i even freaking bother? why don't i just type up my thoughts on a word document and save it on my hard disk? am i that lame and insecure and in need of public/social acceptance and approval that i am willing to be a sitting duck for criticisms and negative comments? or am i that much of an exhibitionist to share with the world what i eat/drink/do/think/feel and MORE IMPORTANTLY think that whatever i have to share actually contributes to the collective body of knowledge and the betterment of society?
well, since online diaries/personal websites/blogs are really blooming like mushrooms after the rain i guess there must be lots of people out there who, whether they realise it or not, fall into either/both of those 2 categories. despite their claims that they have lives to lead and people to meet. heh!
what i've gathered from my social experiment is that:-
a) most people are not as smart or sharp as they think they are (myself included)
b) most of the time, they don't get it... they just don't get it.
c) personal bias is something that has and will ALWAYS exist, even in the most "impartial" of people. rest assured that everything you write WILL be taken personally AS IF every word is a personal attack/ support to the reader. it's not your fault, neither is it theirs. that's just the way it is. it's human nature.
d) most of the time, NOBODY gets the bigger picture. you can be guaranteed that someone is sure to zero in on some miniscule, trifling, totally negligible part of your whole tirade and make a mountainous issue out of it. and you can also be guaranteed that a whole posse of people would then take arms on that same paltry insignificant issue and expand it to epic proportions. that, my friends, is how wars, coups and revolutions are started.
e) and the best thing is, after everyone is done foaming at the mouth about god-even-knows-what and gauntlets are thrown and everyone has had their fill of nasty back-biting and catfights, these very same people would then get on their non-existent moral highhorses and pretend they're way too ethical or cool for all that and that they're above it all.
f) and some poor motherfucker is always left to clean up after. some proverbial scapegoat or sacrificial lamb always has to bear the brunt of the whole hulabaloo cause they're the last to clean their dirty bloodied hands of it or they had too much integrity and self-awareness to feign ignorance and indifference when the dice is thrown and all is said and done. they are the ones who then have to absorb the backlash of it all in the form of domestic censure and castigation. they would then have to retract statements and expiate themselves in the eyes of their loved ones. (NB: i'm not trying to make a martyr out of these ppl cause at the end of the day everyone had some fun. it's just tough luck that someone has to pay for it, i guess...)
g) AND THEN, cause so many of us got away scot-free, in another week or two it all starts again. Yippee!
Isn’t it just a funny, funny world we live in?
Having said all that I’ve said and satisfactorily sated my appetite for human blood and stoked my own overblown ego I would like to request to one and all to please not leave any comments. don’t insult my intelligence and your own by starting another one of those cycles. I don’t need your approval/disapproval. i don’t need your two-cent’s worth cause i’m rich enough, thank you very much! this is about ME! I have something to say to everyone. and what better avenue than my very own online not-so-secret diary.
I have had my fun. Thank you very much for indulging me. Sorry if you feel used and abused. Hey, c’est la vie! This, by the way, is what I mean by explaining everything from a to z. that aside, i’m very positive about the restorative powers of time, space, female solidarity and forgiveness. I’m sure when our paths cross again, everything will be peachy dandy. Till then, I leave you with yet another Malay adage
“siapa makan cili, dia yand terasa pedasnya.”
Peace y’all. One love!
