don't blame the blink

it was a trick worthy of David Blaine.

"come look at you through my eyes," he says to me. and i became Everywoman. a wife, a mother, a lover, an angel, a goddess on a pedestal. and i became lembutnya sutera, sesuci salji, indahnya bahasa, seanggun puteri. and i was perfect. and i could do no wrong. and all my flaws were cute and endearing . oh and my fart smells of roses.

in his eyes, i saw the future. i saw the white picket-fenced house with children playing on the patio, while i look on from the kitchen window. i saw laughter and good cheer. i saw sunshine and summer breeze. i saw joy and love and (oh hell, why not) world peace...

i saw content.


i thought i could stay there forever. in his fool's paradise.
but how long can i hold on to your eyes, magnetic as they are. how long should i buy into your lies, poetic as the stars. something's gotta give. someone has to blink.

a line of lashes rained on my parade. arrows ripping pictures in my head. and things are as they were. when in love you lie.when you hurt you cry.when you want you try. in the end you die.

nothing really matters. not really.